My assistant Toby T.A.P.W. is like my shadow...
He walks when I walk, runs when I run, stops suddenly when I stop suddenly. He even trips on the stairs when I trip. Seriously. He's amazingly in sync with my movements.
But the sound he makes? The tap tap tapping from his oh-so-long nails-- mind blowingly loud. Powerful even. We turn the TV up when he is walking in the room. No we don't, because if we are in the room he is already there. Sitting. Waiting for the next chance to follow.
Jordan just cut his nails. Sure it has been, um, over two months since we last did it but at least we did it. Well *we* didn't. Jordan did. I like to avoid giving the dogs baths or clipping their nails because when they begin to associate pain with the bather and clipper, it won't be me they are running from.
But now I can't really hear him. I'm walking and feeling all lonely and insecure and BAM, Toby is there. He is looking up at me, wagging his tail and begging for me to walk some more. Maybe the dining room. Maybe the basement. Anywhere.
Speaking of baths, did you know that tonight will be the 3rd day in a row that we bath Princess Caroline? Yep, it is. We gave her one the night before last because it had been OVER TWO MONTHS since her last bath. And then she rolled in poop. I came home from work with dinner all ready and delicious in the crock pot only to find that fabulous smell offset by poop. Rotting poop. Poop so grotesque that I lost my appetite.
So I bathed her last night.
And tonight she rolled in poop again. So we banned her from the house, wiped our hands of her and said ROLL IN POOP WILL YOU? THEN ROLL IN POOP. Who knows if she did, at this point my sense of smell is so jacked up I can't tell.
** This one's for you MOM and DAD: Tomorrow is our final, FINAL, big move. By this time tomorrow we should have all boxes in, furniture set and a headaches worth of organizing to do. My family is conveniently out of town. No, actually they just don't live here. But let me publicly offer them to come to Saint Louis. I'll assign you a room and you can just go crazy with it. Like vacuum and dust. And make us dinners and clean our poopy dogs.