Saturday, May 30, 2009

On why I won't run again for a long time

I know it seems pathetic. running a mile and a half isn't really anything to be proud of. It's only like 10 minutes of running (I really don't know that... what are kids' mile time these days?). People run much farther at a much faster rate than me all the time.
Do you like how I said that? "Than me" as if I do this on a daily basis? Never mind the fact that I did this once.

Regardless, I am sore. I woke up this morning in pain. I literally thought that the aches would end my life. I did. It was early and I was being dramatic. I took two Tylenol (you know that really strong medicine) and fell asleep having this horrible dream.
There were these guys with knives. And not like steak knives or even like my beloved Cutco petite chef. These things were crazy shapes and they seemed really sharp. The leader had one similar to Mike Tyson's facial tattoo. I know. Weird. Anyway, they were apparently a little off their rockers and had decided, long before I was aware that we were being held captive, to slowly kill us. I wasn't freaked out until one of them told me how fun it was killing people. One of you readers (who will go unnamed) was one of the captors. Shame on you.
Anyway, there were three of us and while under the care of an emotionally unstable captor we were able to run away. Unnoticed. A cab picked us up and we were long gone before the others realized.

So that is what I dreamt while mustering up the strength to deal with the pain. Did I tell you I defied death yesterday? I did. While mowing the backyard I was stung by a bee. My good friend Wikipedia says, "In people who are allergic to bee stings, a sting may trigger a dangerous anaphylactic reaction that is potentially deadly." This is serious. I lived, but my ankle throbs from this little bee sting.
So I think there are several things causing this extreme pain right now.
1. Running when my body is not used to.
2. The bee sting that almost ended me.
3. Mowing the lawn with a semi-broken mower that is less smooth to operate and more jack-hammer.
4. Deciding it would be a good idea to ride the scooter last night.

Don't laugh. That last one could be a contributor. You are all tense and focused when riding. At least I am, and was.
Look at that face. She looks pretty stupid, doesn't she? She's all surprised by the photo. I bet she doesn't even know I posted this picture of her.


Mama Hutch said...

you ran! without me! (ha.) i am going to start running this week...really, while i am out of town (i'll use my brother as a personal trainer). then when i get back i will be in as good of shape as you and we can get right back into 'training.'

leslie. said...

this post is awesome. as are the pictures. Caroline would be so humiliated with all the shots of her privates. also....i'm sure glad you survived that bee sting! i miss you friend!