my favorite mountain flower

When Aven was in her first month I felt like as soon as she finished nursing it was time for her to nurse again. The twins got no break, and they needed one. With the help of Mercy's lactation nurses, some great sites, and a call to my local LLL rep, Aven and I worked through the kinks of being a new baby and breastfeeding momma. Now 3 months in we feel like we're killing this whole nursing thing, so much in fact that I look forward to it.



It feels weird to even write that because you know, it's breast-feeding. Like, I get that I am her source of nutrition, but people, that source comes from the twins. But nursing isn't weird and I find that the times she isn't nursing, I wish she was. I just miss her. Part of this is due to the fact that I am back at work part-time, so there are a few days where 1/2 of her feedings come from a bottle while I am at work, but I even miss her on days I am home.



She is growing so quickly and while I may be biased, she is absolutely the cutest thing ever to be.

Ever, ever, ever.

This little mountain flower- the most prayed for surprise we've received- is such a bright light of happiness, even in the moments of fussiness or crying. She's truly a gift, and we are so thankful to have her.

Aven Elizabeth,

You are finally here and I can't believe we get to be your parents. Goodness, we love you.

xoxo,
Me

{wedding vows, found!}

Shortly after our first move to Charlotte we both lost our wedding vows. Much like when I lost BOTH our social security cards & my passport, I assumed the vows would eventually unearth in a future move. Well, 5 moves later our vows were still lost. 

This was unfortunate for a few reasons:
One of our cost-cutting decisions was to not have a videographer. I had no idea how fun wedding videos could be, and I thought that spending 1/4 of the budget on a dress I would wear for 8 hours was a good decision.

Also, I was super nervous about being mic'd when we read our vows, so we decided to mic the pastors and musicians and not one another. Since we were married outside only a handfull of people actually heard what we said to one another.

My mother, sitting on the first row, had literally no idea what was being said, which is kind of ironic because she is quite possibly the most soft spoken person ever.

Like ever, people.


A couple years ago we stopped mourning the loss and began reinventing our vows:
Remember when you vowed to watch Bachelorette with me? No? Interesting, because I definitely remember that being vowed to me. 
or
I distinctly recall you vowing to run with me at 5:00 in the morning. 

About a week ago Jordan found our vows, hidden nicely between stacks of family photos. And it turns our Jordan didn't vow either of the above things, and I think I'm ok with that.

{forgiveness}

Forgiveness Without Beginning or End

We make it easy for ourselves with other people. We deaden ourselves completely and believe that if we don't harbor any bad thoughts against people, then it's the same as if we have forgiven them- and we completely overlook the fact that we have no good thoughts about them. And forgiving could also mean having purely good thoughts about people, bearing them whenever we can. And that is just what we avoid- we don't bear other people but walk beside them and get used to their silence, and, in fact, we don't take them seriously at all. But it is precisely a question of bearing- bearing others in all respects, in all their difficult and unpleasant aspects, and in their error and sin against me. Being silent, bearing, and loving without ceasing- that would come close to forgiveness... Forgiveness is without beginning or end; it happens daily without ceasing, for it comes from God. It is liberation from everything that is forced in being with our neighbor, for here we are freed from ourselves; here we can give up all of our own rights and only help and serve others.

~ From Dietrich Bonhoeffer's daily devotion: I Want to Live These Days with You

I'm going to let this one settle a bit, and then I am going to read it again, as a remind to myself that I am not called to "walk beside... and get used to their silence". 


That isn't community & that isn't forgiveness. 

{a study in contrast}

Life can just be really hard for Caroline who struggles 

with teenage angst. 

She would have been the most *dramatic* and 

awkward middle schooler 

and anyone would has met her can fully vouch for that. 

Woe is Caroline. 

Toby takes a more balls-to-the-wall approach to life where,
despite his size, he projects arrogance & confidence almost always. 

I'm sure he would be the kid growing up who,
despite his best efforts, would make people laugh.

Not with him, at him. 

{quidditch}

Jordan and I decided to up the ante on the whole "babies playing with the angels" thing that parents sometimes offer up as they wait to get pregnant.

We've decided that our child (or children, we'd LOVE twins!) is actually in the middle of a game of Quidditch, a game so fierce that they cannot leave post to descend to Earth to be our child.

Yet, I should say. They cannot leave post yet to descend to Earth.

Someday this game will end, and we will get to meet this little winner of ours. Jordan is convinced that he/she is the seeker for the team.

{simple question, long answer}

Getting in bed last night... I love how this guy's mind works and wanders

Suzanne: 

What are you thinking about?

Jordan: 

I was wondering if the way I am laying with Toby right now resembles the 

famous picture of Yoko Ono and John Lennon. 

And then I was wondering how Paul McCartney 

thought when that picture came out. 

And then I thought about the Beatles using drugs. 

And then I began thinking about Ozzy Osbourne using drugs. 

Then I thought about Ozzy's car crash. 

And when you walked in I was thinking about 

broken backs and vertebrae injuries.  

{pig nose}

My dear friend once told me that 

Caroline had a pig nose. 

I remember feeling slightly defensive in a way that is reserved for mothers of humans, not animals. 

Then I remember realizing how stupid I was being. 

Caroline clearly has a pig nose. 

{group think}

Idea: 

I want to paint our brick wall in the family room. 

Dilemma: 

I don't think Jordan wants me to paint the brick wall in the family room.

What do you guys think?


White?


Or brown, because I'm not sure we have enough brown in our house right now.

*Rebecca, I'm looking at you for some decor support.

{fabric, check}

I finally settled on a fabric for the chair.

After much hemming and hawing I decided to go with this:

Let's just hope by me actually making a decision this project will move a bit faster. 

{mornings}

Source: s3.amazonaws.com via Suzanne on Pinterest

I saw this on Pinterest earlier today but when I tried to find the original source the link was bad. Apparently she put this on twitter last year.  


Jordan and I are pretty big New Girl fans and we are both in a place where we find Zooey adorable. And don't try to sway me otherwise, ya hear? 


If you know my husband you know that he is NOT a morning person. I regularly ask him what his highs and lows are and typically his high is going to bed at night and his low is a toss between waking up and being asked what his highs and lows are each day. 


Whatever.


Deep down he loves that question.


And someday he will miraculously become a morning person. Who drinks coffee. And his high will be waking up early to drink coffee with me. While browsing US Weekly or People or any other useless source of celebrity information. And his low will be lunchtime because that means it is another 18 hours before he can wake up early with me to drink coffee. 


Someday. 

{jbc}

Yep... he's pretty much my favorite.

{arbitrage}

*Five years of craigslist and eBay*

{whatever is foreseen in joy}

Whatever is foreseen in joy

Must be lived out from day to day.

Vision help open in the dark

By our ten thousand days of work.

Harvest will fill the barn; for that

The hand must ache, the face must sweat.

And yet no leaf or grain is filled

By work of ours; the field is tilled

And left to grace. That we may reap,

Great work is done while we're asleep.

When we work well, a Sabbath mood

Rests on our day, and finds it good.

I can't remember where I first read this Wendell Berry poem- either someone blogged it or it showed up on facebook. Either way, I copied it down and saved it. 

Happy Saturday.

{progress}

This afternoon I began removing the lower fabric and pulling out staples. Progress, even just a little bit. 

{fabric option}

Ok friends, Little Green Notebook posted this earlier today:

The chair is vaguely reminds me of the recent Goodwill purchase, minus the curve and non-tufts. But the exposed wood and arms remind me a bit of what I'm working with.

Ok, it is kind of a stretch to compare the two. Remember what I am working with?

So, thoughts on the LGN's fabric? I wouldn't go purple, but the design does remind me of this fabric I posted about on Pinterest a few months ago:

                                               

via

I do like the cheeriness of the yellow and $8.98/yard seems pretty reasonable. Would you paint the wood white or black?  

{thrifting, promises and finds}

My name is Suzanne, and I am a thriftoholic. 

A couple weeks ago I made the "this seems like a good & unrealistic idea" decision to go the remainder of 2012 with only shopping for clothing, minus pants & shoes, from Goodwill/thrift stores. You know what, for kicks and giggles let's throw in panties (that's for you Reba) and unmentionables into the exclusion mix.

I can honestly say that I'd be ok if I went the rest of the year without purchasing underwear from Goodwill.

I felt rather proud of myself after proclaiming this to my twitter friends. Plus it means I can go shopping TONS more. Because spending $20 on 5 things is like not spending any money at all. Even if you spend that $20 2-3 days a week.

Free expense... just like gas and groceries.

So stay tuned friend/s, 2012 just got a little more exciting. Bargin hunting for clothes is great, especially when I work in an area where people buy and donate nice clothes... all the time.

During one of the many trips to my favorite thrift store (remember, free expense) I found this little number. I made the silly mistake of passing on her during my first visit but after good friends reminded me how foolish I was, I returned and brought her home.

Can you believe I paid $20 for this beauty? Sure the fabric is dying a slow death, but it has good bones and a lovely shape. I keep bringing home furniture telling Jordan that THIS is the piece that will launch my furniture business. But this time, for realsies, this is the piece. I need to find some fun ikat fabric and give this whole reupholstering thing a go.

Like these:

via

via

via

via

Or something like this:

via

Be sure to check back in 4-6 months for an update on the project. 

{sunlight}

{today}

Someone on facebook posted this today:


"Thankfully, God reads our hearts and edits our plans and our prayers so that they are far more than we would have dared to ask or imagine. Pray, pray, and pray, to the limit of your vision and faith, and then be prepared for God to do something even better."
-Taken from the March 2nd Lenten Devotional, Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC

{san francisco in picture}

It is always a shame when I am the photographer on trips... 

Jordan is much better at capturing what we see than I am, 

but he was in meetings during the day so I was left with the camera. 

What a great trip... short, but sweet. 

{cold but comfy}

It is cold here in Saint Louis, and somebody is finding a way to keep warm and cozy.

He picked a good spot too... that comforter is seriously soft.

Happy New Year friends... 

{thanksgiving 2011}

Aside from the shortage of place settings, Thanksgiving was lovely. With my family out of town we do the every-other-year holiday thing between Jordan's side and mine. This year was our STL Thanksgiving.... or what we like to call ThanksChristmas.

It truly was lovely. With so many people coming to celebrate (18 Suzanne, not 16), we had the great room swap of 2011. Our entry and living room area is one large room, more than enough room to seat everyone. Plus, it was fun to see our dining room become our living room. So cozy, even for a short period of time.

The dessert menu consisted of 5 pies, 2 cheesecakes, and peppermint bark. Aunt Jane makes the most delicious cheesecake.

Our table was filled with dear family and friends... our tummies full from a wonderful feast. 

Happy Thanksgiving!